We're all in this together!

 

We’re all in this together

“Humans are social beings, and we are happier, and better, when connected to others. “

Connection. Over the last few months, I have really tried to understand this. Not because it would help me write a blog; but because I, like many others, have had to try a lot harder to maintain connection with others. This has actually helped me understand what it was that I took for granted and really help me understand what different interactions with different people provided me with.

So what does connection mean? The first part of the definition:

The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued.

It can be too easy on days I feel down or not myself to lock myself away. Some may notice me do this, others may not. However, it is definitely something I am guilty of doing. Reaching out to others can be a much more productive way of dealing with life.  I do think that this is different to talking to others (Week 1) as that is more about talking about your feelings. Whereas, I interpret connection as a way of finding that energy and fulfilment through spending time with others.

Lockdown has provided a significant barrier to this. But with the wonders of technology and a slight relaxing of the rules in early May (I think) there have been ways I’ve been able to stay connected with some of the people closest to me. And with that, I get what I have required from them, to stay well.

Each week, I, like many others partook in a weekly quiz with 4-5 of my closest friends. I finished either last or second to last almost every week. Anyone who knows me, would be surprised to know I kept logging back in without a tantrum or fuss- simply because the banter and comradery was making it worthwhile.

When they can give and receive without judgement and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

I have mentioned in a previous blog about Tim Sanders, one of my running friends. However, it was during the previous lockdown that two other friendships really began to flourish. As soon as lockdown #1 was announced, a friend quickly set up a WhatsApp group entitled “running therapy”. We’d use the group to share runs, discuss training, suggest purchases that would tempt each other (and then get us in the bad books with the wife) and just generally chat. It’s only looking back I truly realise how much that helped.

There were times when I stopped posting only to receive a private message from one of them asking if I was OK. Knowing that not posting could be a sign of me withdrawing and finding a few things tricky.

Once we were allowed to meet up, it again highlighted how much I need time to chat, get things off my chest and also listen to other people (not known as a natural strength of mine). I took up cycling. That decision alone not only opened up another exercise avenue but created opportunities to go on long bike rides with a couple of close friends. This escapism provided a crucial break from “real-life”.

All my views are that of an adult. However, it makes me wonder what it was like for children-used to playing and socialising with so many people every day in school, clubs at the park-only to find these opportunities restricted. One of our students wrote her views on it and how she has learnt to cope with the “New Normal.”

 

Lockdown sucks. You can’t see your friends and you’re stuck in the house with a whining sibling - and that’s if you’re lucky. That’s why it’s so important you keep in touch

Keeping in touch is the best when you are feeling down with the lockdown-blues. Give your friends a call or text them. I promise it helps – I am proof!

Recently, my laptop broke; I have a backup one but I forgot my friends’ emails so I couldn’t contact them. And I began to feel grumpy, sad and alone. However, that all changed when I got a phone. You see I tried and tried numerous times to remember their emails and text my friends and finally got a reply. Since then I have been part of a group chat with all my friends and we’re even planning a sleepover over zoom! I have begun to feel happier and more positive - I can’t wait for my sleepover!
                                                                      By Ella Ratcliffe

 

As I now bring my attention back to the current lockdown, I start to think of how a lack of connection is impacting on my daughter; she dearly misses her friends and, unlike the novelty that was Lockdown #1, this time it is that much harder for her. We are doing the usual- FaceTime, Zoom dancing (which she pays absolutely no attention to) and the odd meet up where it is allowed but I can see how much she is craving for that unrestricted social time and opportunities to be with her friends.

It leads me to agree with Ella, lockdown does suck. The same type of connection prior to lockdown cannot happen at the moment but we can still stay connected- we just need to be creative. Who knows, after all this, we may value the walks, bike rides and family get-togethers that little bit more!

 

Stay in touch with each other and as always, STAY SAFE!

 

https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/stay-connected-family-friends