Embrace your weirdness

 

Accept ourselves for the unique individuals we are

“Dance to the beat of your own drum; whether the world

likes your rhythmic movements or not.”

 

This week’s theme is a really interesting one. I have always known superficially who I am, what I enjoy and I think what I believe in, but how well do I truly understand myself? Being in a position 0f leadership, plus writing these blogs has led to quite a lot of soul searching about who I am as a person. As I think carefully about this, I believe there are certain misconceptions I may have had along the way. I am very keen and eager to improve and develop but I do think at certain times, both in my personal life and in my career, this may have taken away from the “real me.” It’s this realisation over the last couple of years that has really helped show everyone what I am like and help people understand both my strengths and my flaws.

For example, I have had long chats with Nick about how I present myself in certain situations. When I first became Assistant Head, a couple of colleagues and close friends would comment, “You’ve changed,” or “Where’s the real Darren gone?” Although this was tongue in cheek teasing, there was an element of truth. I was a very different person, in the classroom to the one that would present in staff meetings. Through self-reflection and coaching, I realised that if people were really going to respect me, then I needed to be the same Darren in all settings- “The staff room Darren” needed to be the same as the person in meetings and mirror the person that stood in front of a class of 30. This lesson of authenticity was quite a jump for me but to be honest, was the tip of the iceberg in working out who I really am.

I used to often wish I was more laid back and took things with a pinch of salt like some of my friends. To be honest, it’s something that I do struggle with from time to time. However, knowing and understanding that I am a “heart on my sleeve” kind of guy, which some would rightly assess as” WOW-he’s a bit intense!” has helped me not to change but understand who I am, and most importantly what impact that has on others.

I could go on for ages about my personality and links to leadership but I do think there are other facts that I need to consider. For example, what are my core beliefs? This is quite a loaded question but if I had to say words that are really important to me I would probably say the following:

Hard work, loyalty, trust, friendship, equality and opportunity.

There are a whole host of words I have missed out there and it opens up opportunity for you to think what key words are important to you when thinking about what you believe in. Each person will think slightly differently, believe in potentially different things and act in different ways. It is this that makes the world an intriguing place.

To do this though, we need to really know what we believe in as a person, otherwise I certainly feel I open myself up to being a “sheep”. I look back at some of my music choices or clothes I wore growing up with a shiver of regret. I never really wanted to wear cardigans at uni (can you even picture me in one!) but my friends did! I tried to attend rock festivals –again, not really my thing. It’s taken until my 30s before I have realised that I am more of a jeans and a footy top kind of guy, with a love for Oasis and actually a bit of a closet dance music fan.

I am learning about myself all the time- my interests, my beliefs, my character and even my roots. I think it’s quite easy to listen to somebody say that you’re special or that everyone has a purpose but I think it is another thing to truly accept it. Therefore, I’d really like to think that trying to be open and honest about myself will lead to some inner reflection from others. What do you really believe in? How do you ensure you show everyone the real you? Perhaps you are already doing this but for me, this is an on-going battle to retain the true me when balancing the pressures of peers, family, society and so much more.

I think this week’s topic area is open to so much interpretation so I really do encourage some comment. I’d love to know if you truly understand who you are and how do you ensure you embrace this no matter the situation or circumstance.

If anyone wishes to contribute to next week’s blog, it will be themed around “caring for others,” please do get in touch.

In the meantime:

 

Stay safe and STAY TRUE TO YOU!